orchestrated chaos

Jun 18, '07 5:30 AM
for everyone

People lose trust in people all the time. At any given hour, at any given day, one woman somewhere weeps because her husband left her and her swollen stomach alone, never to be seen again. Somewhere, right now, a friendship is broken because of betrayal. A mother, flushed and furious at her daughter for breaking her 12 midnight curfew. A straight A student failing an easy exam. A man getting fired for stealing the company's funds.

Everyday. Trust is broken. Everyday. Relationships are destroyed. Everyday.

I have lost trust in many people because they have failed me. Likewise, people lost their trust in me because I also failed them. But can trust be earned again?

I am a faithful believer in second chances. No, time has not hardened me yet and my views have not reached the cynical point yet. But sometimes, it is really a struggle.

Oh how much I want to believe in the inner good of each and every being. That each and every person has the capability to change for the better. I know I cannot change a person. But I can inspire a person to change.

I am thankful for the many second chances life has given me. And so I am willing to give them out too. I can only hope and pray that they also want to take the second chance. I can only wish that they have not given up yet.

I know my anger and my frustration will just fade. And when it does, what else would be left? I do not want to be bitter. I want to hope. I want to trust. I want to believe.

I want to see that broken relationships can be united again. That pained hearts can be soothed. That wounds could be healed. That mistakes could be forgiven.

But then we are only human. We cannot command the heart and the mind to release doubts and fears whenever we want them to be out of our system. We need time. We need strength.

I don't have the luxury of time. But I could have the strength that I need.

So teach me how to be strong.